The L Word

The Chief has an adorable habit of not swearing. Even in intense situations and moments. Instead he uses euphemisms. Frick, Fbomb- funny things like that. He's very... old fashioned. His manners are impeccable and he is ever so charming. (He even holds doors, or tries too. I can be very difficult. But still find it absolutely endearing when he holds the door if he gets there first, or tries to encourage me to go through even if I beat him, and he walks me to the door to make sure I get home safe. I feel like such a little lady!).

ANNNNYWAY, so later that night, absolutely blissful and crazy happy we're just there together, all wrapped up and he cracks this HUGE half smile, half smirk that he gets when he's thinking delicious thoughts.

"Frick I like you," he whispers into my hair.

I giggled, and looked at him, "I more than like you."

I was scared that I had terrified him into silence. As a girl you are never supposed to broach this topic. Ever. Never. Never. Ever. It doesn't matter if he makes you wait years. You NEVER say it first. Ever. Is that clear? Mmk, maybe one more time for good measure. NEVER EVER NEVER say it first.

{Slight quick backstory. I'm not sure if this has been mentioned previously but the two of us have known each other for six years, and five years ago he wrote me a beautiful letter in his excessively neat boy writing letting me know that he loved me for the first time ever. It was wrapped in this pink plastic thing, and he delivered it with flowers on the day we met. He's romantic, old fashioned [But not TOO old fashioned! ;) ], shy and freaking adorable. How could I NOT be in love?}

He let out a huge sigh of relief, "Thank god. I feel that way too, I just thought it was WAY to soon to even think about saying it, I mean really, it's a little early, and it's weird that I actually feel that way, but I do. Do you?" He gushed excitedly.

I was beaming, and thankful that it was mostly dark so he couldn't see how I was totally blushing and getting just a TINY bit sentimental. "Mmhmm, I know exactly how you feel. I mean, it IS early, but we gotta keep in mind that there is like six years of emotional build up simmering between the two of us."

We sat there in the silence, looking at each other smiling contently. Neither one of us ready to actually say IT out loud. It was there between us, and it was out there, but still unspoken. But the feeling was there. Which in itself is so scary hard to admit to. Who even considers saying something THAT huge THAT soon. No one in their right mind, I mean you can't take it back. Once it's out there it's THERE forever. There are no take backsies. You mean it now sugar. So be careful when and what you say, because those little words have the potential to change your world... drastically.

We settled back down, enjoying the quite, drawing idle nervous circles along the exposed lengths of skin. Watching my trippy LED light rotate through the 8 or 7 different colours. Comfortable, content, the world was just shy of being perfect in that moment.

The words hung on my lips like honey. Sweet, thick, sticky. I licked at them, tasting the flavor of what it would taste like to utter those words. Would they taste sweet? Would I think of vanilla and icing every time I said it? Would it be rich and dark and sensual like chocolate truffles? Completely envelope the senses like Christmas apple cider, sweet and spicy and warm? Would it be bittersweet like a raspberry, tart and tangy but refreshing?Like sunshine? Like autumn, crisp and cool?

MMmm.. thou art to me a delicious torment.