A Down Day

This would be the product of being sick with a horrid head cold. Combined with WAAAY too much alone time to think.

This atrocious day started with not being able to trade my phone in. Screw you cell phone people. Really.

Then I ended up getting all teary eyed, and  leaky while having to cancel my super awesome Anniversary date with the Chief, which was to include a delightfully long dinner date. I love our dinner dates. It gives us time to just be together. Just us. And we get to talk, and flirt, and laugh, and completely reconnect. Regardless of what else has been happening I always leave our dinner dates feeling like it was a first date, totally smitten and head over heels happy in love. This delicious dinner date was supposed to be followed by Avatar in 3D. Not getting to go is certainly punishment in itself.

So being sick I decided to start cleaning my room and throw stuff out. I started going through books and boxing some of the ones I don't read up, since I'm having to move two of my book shelves out of my room. This I find depressing, since my books are like my children. It makes me feel like a negligent parent packing them up and storing them away, I'm worried they'll feel like I don't love them *Lol* I threw out trinkets, and letters, and jewellery- things from my past, which got me thinking, and over thinking and reliving moments that probably shouldn't have been brought up. Then I moved on to throwing out old clothes in my closet. My closet is incredibly overcrowded. Most of it is sentimental clothes. Things that I loved. Things from my younger, slightly more sexy days. Now, this is probably a girl thing, but there is NOTHING in the world more depressing than going through old clothes, trying stuff on and realizing it no longer fits. So I threw out clothes, and got utterly and completely miserable about my looks, and had a bit of a mirror hate-fest with myself. This lasted much longer than healthy or necessary. Seriously, memo to the universe: Do not attempt to clean/throw stuff out when you are sick and miserable, it just makes things worse.

Then the Chief stopped by to say hello in the hopes of cheering me up. He's such a gem, and I love him for this. He gave me a huge hug, and cuddled me close, and we talked, and I started over thinking things. Things that I'm not quite ready to discuss, but he knows me well enough to ask the tough questions. And he did, and I got all girlie and teary eyed, which I hate. Especially when I'm sick. And miserable. And grouchy. I will not be emotional on top of it, I refuse. So we turned it into a nice little "feel better, and stop being sick" sexual tease, and then he left to spend the cancelled date night with his boys. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate watching him leave? Today was oh so much worse, mainly because I was all of these miserable, over emotional things already. As I closed the door behind him I tried to choke back the tears and escape downstairs to my lockable bedroom door before anyone noticed.

So this awesome day went as followed: Dejected about the cancelled date. Feeling hideous and unfortunate looking. And being FREEZING cold and locked in the basement while my parents had a collection of friends over for movies, snacks and cards. Alone. Just awesome.

As the Chief said via text. "You just can't win."

Well, I'll show you universe. I have a drawer full of shiny, pretty toys that will do anything to please, and always try to satisfy. The best cure for almost anything.